(Most troubadour songs were written by the courtly class, so most of the songs are about courtly things: love, honor, chivalry and the like. Since this post is about crime, I thought it would be interesting to find a song that mentions that and other non-courtly things. This is A Busy Man by Raimon d’Avinhon, lyrcs at the end. Push play to listen while you read.)
I have been traveling in Europe and random things keep popping up that have ties to my Richard explorations.
So, I’m wandering Paris and stumble into the Abbey Bookshop (on rue de la Parcheminerie, no less - French for ‘place where parchment is made’), and stumble on a copy of The Elder Edda, one of the original sources for our knowledge of Norse mythology, written around 1270, about 70 years after Richard’s death in 1199. I had a copy of the Taylor & Auden translation as a high schooler (I was not like the other kids), but sold it at some point. Always wanted to get one back. This is the precise edition I had, the purple color and everything.
Opening to page 2, I find (from the Hávamál, the Words of the High One, ascribed to Odin):
Who travels widely needs his wits about him.
The stupid should stay at home.
The next day, I am wandering Montmartre.
After we go to the Basilica we are walking the main drag. The Blvd Marguerite de Rochechouart to be precise, in case you are going to be in the area. I see 3 or 4 questionable young men hanging on the wall. Watching.
We walk past them. Then: I see an iPod earpiece rattling around on the ground, under my feet, a guy yelling ‘no no no don’t step on it’ and grabbing my leg like he’s afraid I will step on it.Â
I feel a bump from behind. An ass grab. I take a step, turn, and then I remember to check my phone. It’s gone (I was carrying in back pocket like an idiot. Should have listened to my wife and Odin).
I turn and see the guys, grab one by the arm and just start yelling ‘Where’s my phone? Where’s my phone?’. Really loud over and over. He is protesting in French but I’m yelling and holding on to him.
My wife pulls out her phone and yells ‘I’m calling the cops’, and I keep yelling. People are looking…
Finally a guy (not the one I have arm locked) coughs up the phone.Â
A bystander says ‘just walk away’. So we do.
The guys never ran or seemed scared. Nor did they get violent, which in retrospect they could have. In retrospect grabbing them probably wasn’t the safest play, but I didn’t think, I just acted. And miraculously I have my phone back.
This is getting to Richard, I promise.
So, I’ve been reading Gillingham’s biography of Richard, probably the best one out, entitled Richard I. There is a general characterization of Richard that he was a fighter, warrior and crusader, but a bad King with little interest in administration, or England more broadly. The most recent research however, paints a different picture. Richard was heavily involving in the administration of the church in England through a robust history of thoughtful appointments, and his history of innovative lawmaking. For example, the Instructions to Judges of 1194, the Royal Edit of 1195 (a peace-keeping framework), The Forest Assize and the Assize of Weights and Measures of 1197, the introduction of a royal customs system and the associated administrative bureaucracy, and lastly the Naval Laws of 1190, all signed by his own hand. This last was done on setting out for Sicily on crusade, and it had some interesting provisions.
Any man who kills another shall be bound to the dead man and, if at sea, be thrown overboard, if on land, buried with him. If it be proved by lawful witnesses that any man has drawn his knife against another, his hand shall be cut off. If any man shall punch another without drawing blood he shall be dipped in the sea [keelhauled?] three times. Abusive or blasphemous language shall be punished by fines varying according to the number of offences. A convicted thief shall be shaved like a champion, tarred and feathered and put ashore at the first opportunity.
This appears to be the first recorded mention in history of the punishment of being ‘tarred and feathered’, although presumably it was being practiced before that.
Now, I would not wish that punishment on my pickpocket friends in Montmartre, but…
Next time I will listen to Odin. Keep my phone in my front pocket. And if I was one of Richard’s soldiers I’d have been very very careful :)
Raimon d’Avinhon: A Busy Man
Sirvens sui avutz et arlòts
(translation via: https://thehighwindowpress.com/2016/09/01/peter-sirr-under-the-sway-of-the-troubadours/)
A man gets busy
and the world is wide
a servant I was and more
besides  a gilder a girdler
a ceiler a carver a dapifer
an archer an arbalestier
a pimp a peddler a purser
fishmonger swordswallower
I can make walls sew sleeves
falconer hawkspotter I shot
a hundred birds and cooked them
a songmaker a poet
sharpwitted tender
five months a jaundiced joglar
cackling for my supper
a butcher a strap-maker
a whore a thief
I herded cows sheared sheep
shovelled shit a gambler
a priest a knight in armour
a knacker a knifer
a hacker a hatter
a wetnurse a drynurse
a vaginarius
a chickengriller a bellmaker
a merchant a waferer
an innkeeper a tumbler
a molecatcher a ratkiller a glover
a broomdasher a lover
I made corsets dug graves
built boats rode the waves
I was a lancier a lanternmaker
a marleyman a milliner
a scythesmith a seamster
spurrer thonger threadmaker
a bather a launderer
a chamberlain a chimneysweep
I made hurdles I put up tents
took down tents put up
pavilions emptied privies
a scullion a sperviter
a spectaclesmaker
a trencherman a nailer
a siever a sawyer
a currier a gurrier
a fuller a fletcher
a pissprophet a dungcalculator
a ferryman a librarian
a cardinal a curate a critic
a barker a fiddler a chancer
a limner a lutenist a pugilist
an annalist an archivist an alchemist
an aerialist a balladist
a cabalist a chemist
an aromatherapist
a linenpinner a yarnspinner
a maker of lists
oh I was a quare one
with nowhere to hide
a man gets busy
and the world is wide.